By Nadine Nirere
My name is Janet (name changed), I live in a small village with my partner and our children. Life took a difficult turn when my partner began misusing the money meant to support our family, especially for feeding our children and keeping them in school. As his habits worsened, our household began to suffer. There were many days when providing food became a struggle, and eventually, our children had to drop out of school.
In the evenings, my partner would join a group of men from the village, where they spent hours drinking alcohol. When he returned home intoxicated, he often quarreled with me and took out his frustrations on our children. Over time, this pattern of behavior broke our family’s peace. I reached out to local community leaders for help, but despite their efforts, nothing seemed to change. The stress became overwhelming, and I started losing sleep. At my lowest points, I even thought about leaving home altogether. On many nights, I would hide outside until my partner had gone to bed just to avoid the tension and fear his drinking created.
One day, a community leader visited me. He knew of our situation and, seeing that nothing had improved, told me about support groups being formed in our village to help families and communities rebuild peace. His words offered hope, and I decided to join one of these groups. To my relief, my partner agreed to let me participate.
During the group sessions, I began to recognize familiar faces, which made it easier to open up and share my story. During the Safety phase, I was one of the first to speak. I felt an immediate sense of comfort as the group members listened without judgment. I was reassured to learn that I wasn’t alone in my struggles, many women in the group faced similar challenges in their homes.
One of the most valuable pieces of advice I received from the group was to remain calm when discussing finances with my partner and avoid reacting when he was angry. With this in mind, I carefully approached my partner and spoke to him about our household budget. We agreed on a small amount of money he could use for his personal needs, including drinking. I also made an effort to respond more calmly during tense moments.
Over time, something remarkable happened, and my partner noticed a change in my behavior. Slowly, his aggression decreased, and he began to reduce his drinking. He also became more involved with our children, something I had longed for. The once overwhelming tension in our home started to ease, and we began to experience peace again as a family.
I am deeply grateful for the support I found through the community-based sociotherapy group. The process not only helped me rebuild a healthier relationship with my partner but also restored a sense of hope for our family’s future.
Today, I am hopeful that these positive changes will continue to strengthen our family and bring us closer together.